Incoming--My place of surrender

I am sitting uncomfortably on my bed with bible on lap and tears of weary hopelessness floating up to heavenly places.

Blessed is the woman who perseveres under trial, because when she has stood the test, she will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

I think I may have failed the test. There will be no crown for me,

screams my sin to my soul.

Through my two story window, I turn a slow and mournful gaze to the outside and up to the wooded hills beyond the rooftops. 

I hear the summer locust fighting to finish the season strong and the soft warble of forest wren in spite of the falling summer heat.

I am impressed by their perseverance to stay strong and even sing in spite of the circumstances. Momentary wellness stirs my spirit.

But it is quickly squelched--for out of nowhere they come.

Incoming!

The imposing, ugly, blackness of the most recent residents joining the neighborhood--a family of crows that have wreaked havoc on their wooded neighbors all summer. 

They have pillaged nests, terrorized squirrels and created a fissure in the firmament with their raucousness.

And now, one by one, like incoming arrows from an enemy's quiver they pigeon me through my window and caw- 

Failure!

It's too late!

They swoop perilously close to the glass before lifting up in a thermal of blistering charges, leaving me in a heap of shame and sadness.

Persevere:

"continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition. Steadfastness." 1 

For whatever was written in earlier times

 was written for our instruction, 

so that through perseverance 

and the encouragement of the Scriptures 

we might have hope.

Romans 15:4

Consider it pure joy, my sisters,

when you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing of your faith

develops perseverance.

James 1:3  

Let the incoming caws of  the worlds crows come and blast me with their beaks. Let them carry messages of worry on their wings. Let them cry failure in their flight!

I will NOT believe the lie. I will persevere.

My choice to take from the forbidden tree and eat the fruit of my sinful desires will not cause God's grace to abandon me. 

Circumstances do not connote a verdict of failure but the promise of a holy persevering presence from within assuring me that He will never leave or forsake me. 2

Christ in me, the hope of glory 3, is The One who gives me freedom and flight and who will cause me to soar again!

"Even the best of the best fail, humanity cannot save itself."4
Just look at Abraham, David, or paul, they will tell you the same.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will lo grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3


INCOMING!
Perseverance on the wings of a dove and settling on the comforted bed of my soul.

Thank you Jesus.

(1) Miriam-Webster    (2) Deuteronomy 31:6 (3) Colossians 1:27  (4) Heather Goodman.