Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Out of Darkness

It is Written.  Hadn't I just said that in an email to a friend recently? Yet here it is again, on the very page of my devotional before me. Not sure why that particular thought hit me a few days ago, not sure why its jumping off the page at me again, but I've learned to listen when this happens. I've learned this means God has something to say.
Grappling with injustice this morning, I bitterly threw all the darkness and suffering of life at the Lord-- Where are you in the death of a soldier, the abuse of a child, the agony of mental illness, the persecution of those just trying to serve you, where? 

Following the thread of my current challenge, I wrestled to find words of praise.
"Praise ushers us into the presence of God."*
THANK YOU  for trees... Words fall flat.
THANK YOU for scampering squirrels... Lame.
THANK YOU for color... Now I'm getting warmer.
THANK YOU for need... Transparency setting in.
THANK YOU for sin... What? Where is this going, GOD? Thank you for sin? Really? 

It's then I see--Need drives procurement.  Sin seeks solution.  Darkness births dawn.

But God isn't finished with me yet. My prayer time complete, I now turn to my morning devotion, and there-in lies the answer to my angst... "Out of darkness, God spoke." 

Out of Darkness!
-The darkness and void of unformed earth gives birth to the Eden of Genesis.
-The darkness of a womb gives birth to a child.
-The darkness of Calvary gives birth to light in resurrected life.

"It is the suffering [of darkness] that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace.
In the emptiness we have  the opportunity to turn to God.
God wastes nothing"*


1 Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances.
Psalm 8:2 You have ordained praise...to silence the enemy.
*Anne Voskamp. One thousand gifts.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Rift in My Reverie

My thoughts like leaves are scattered
in a mind that needs some raking
But with every breath of thought
your carried off unwaking.

And the breeze at my window
blows in memories with the storm,
too much to remember
too little being born.

Yesterday, you empty room
rift inside my reverie
unrequited lovers vault
  once again my destiny.

                               And the breeze at my window                              
        blows in memories with the storm    
 too much to remember
   too little being born.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Grace and Gratitude

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night." *

 All along I had a gut that this was the intended oracle of Dabar;  experience devastating adversity so that through grace I could discover true gratitude.

Yes. YES, I think it is. This is why he has allowed me to stray and suffer, to show me his grace. To teach me the 747 principle-He who has been forgiven much, loves much.

I have endured an arduous, hot, and dusty trek through the book of proverbs the last few days, and the writer isn't kind to the woman--
Adulteress!   Seductress!  Wayward wife!  Disgraceful wife!  Dog!
Add other scriptures with equal tidings of great joy and you have the creme de la creme of titles ;
Covenant breaker!  Faithless Judah! Complaining Israel!  Donkey! Cow!

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night."
I have been taken to Dabar.
    I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.  

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night."
I am the one in the shadows with her alabaster jar and I am weeping in  black, for I know who I have  been. **

"No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night."
I haven't emerged from the night yet, but I see the shaft of His light through the door of my heart, and it is illuminating that Valley of Hope I have been promised.

747 Principle;  Luke 7:47 He who has been forgiven much, loves much.
Dabar--Hebrew for wildneress
Luke 7:47  Hosea 2:14-15  Ezekiel 16:59  Jeremiah 3:11 Exodus 16:2
Jeremiah 2:24 Amos 4:1 Hosea 2:16
*Elie Wiese
**Ann Voskamp,  One thousand gifts.

NOTE: Valley of Achor,  Joshua Chapter 7, notably vs. 25-26 ; "valley of trouble"

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Axis Awry

Mind cries foul
spirit shouts fight
heart is  evil all the time 
can't tell wrong from right.

Heretical volition
axis awry
yes is no
 black is white
up is down
 in is out
reflected back 
in reverse 
trouble and sin
it makes me spin
 i sink
too weak to swim
too lost to seek
you win.
you win.
you win.

Knees collapse
heart concedes
spirit stifles mutinous will      
heaven roars and vice recedes.

For he remembers our frame
and remembers we are only dust--
 prone to sin.
Psalms 103:14

Friday, March 1, 2013

Deluded by Desire

Sin is crouching at your door,
it desires to have you, 
but you must master it.
Genesis 1:6

It's coming.
The looming black cloud hangs heavy on the horizon. The seas shiver and the earth shakes.
A tsunami is silently snaking inland. I sense it in my innermost parts.
It's closer.
Like an unseen, encroaching marching band, I feel it pound and pulse in my chest with every slam of a percussioner's hammer.
It's crouching.
At the door. Hungry to trespass and enter my dwelling, it wants to prostitute me with the lust of my eyes and the desires of my heart.

Unless the Lord intervenes, our fall is imminent.

Are you entertaining a desire that deludes?
You might do well to remember that there is a way that seems right to man, but in the end leads to death. Just ask Lot.
He followed his desire but found delusion at the door instead.
He followed fantasy and found poverty.
He followed a desire that found him camped near Sodom and eventually living there.
God will intervene and save when you ask, for he is faithful. But in the mean-time;
you might want to consider moving your tent.

Ill gotten gain takes away the life of those who get it. 
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul? 

Numbers 15:39
Proverbs 14:12
Proverbs 28:19
Proverbs 1:19
Mark 8:36
Genesis 13:12, 14:12