Thursday, November 7, 2013

#WhoIAm


But as many as received Him, 
to them He gave the right to become children of God, 
even to those who believe in His name.
John 1:12


I made the call and found myself speaking with yet another woman requesting STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) testing. 

My breath hitched as I prepared to ask the sensitive but necessary questions;
Has it been at least 2 weeks from your suspected exposure?
Are you experiencing any symptoms?

I scheduled the appointment for her and then offered my sympathy. I apologized for the pain HE had brought into the relationship and shared that while my heart broke for her, unfortunately, this particular situation was a common call for me to receive.

She paused, then.

Several seconds of awkward silence ensued followed by a heavy sigh...

"It wasn't him"

"It wasn't him?"

Her confession carried a heavy remorse that nearly brought me to my knees.
She emanated a shame so intense that the magnitude of it was palpable on my end.  It was clear she was struggling to find reconciliation for her now damaged character and her marriage.

Misery her master, her wounded worth was suffering from the after-math of seeking significance in misguided places. 

There has been much conversation on my P31 bible study lately http://proverbs31.org/ regarding doubts and fears and failed attempts born of desperation that drive us to find fulfillment outside of God.
Almost  all of the chronicles focused on the innocent as victims--childhood abuse, dysfunctional upbringings, mental illnesses and various addictions.

I couldn't help but think, what about those who suffer because of deliberate choices?

What if suffering is self-induced, a consequence of a willful disobedience and wrong decision?

Would we still qualify for the same mercy--the same affirming salutations and encouragement?

Do those who have caved to the sinful nature deserve to ask, as did Gideon;
"Why has this happened to me"?

Paul would speak from a personal perspective;  I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. (Romans 7:15 NLT)

David, considered by God to be a man after God's own heart, knew the ache of sexual sin.

Eve had front row seats to the satanic scheme that causes us to question God's loving provisions--
"I bet Eve was content with what she had until Satan got her to compare herself to someone who had more." The tempter convinced her that something was missing in her life and that the forbidden fruit would make her 'like God'. A foolish comparison indeed, but all comparisons are." 1

Bottom line? We've been had. We have fallen for our enemies schemes!

I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's schemes, 
your minds may somehow be led astray 
from your sincere and pure devotions to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:2-3

SCHEMES:

Schemes; translated in the Greek as methodeia". 
Method; "the following or pursuing of an orderly and technical procedure in the handling of a subject".
(Doesn't THAT just make the hair on the back of your neck bristle!) 
"Satan's scheme is to subtly transfer the deep devotion the believer has felt to Christ to a mortal instead." 2

 "There's been a conspiracy against God's plan since before the Garden of Eden."  3

"Up there, beyond the clouds, where no human eye could see, there was a scene enacted that heralded no good for [our] prosperity."
Satan watches and considers. 
The eye of malice is very quick to perceive a weakness.
He has lynx eyes." 4

Our enemy peers at us with those lynx eyes and hisses lies and doubts into our hearts and heads; You blew it, your not good enough, your weak. You have failed, you will never conquer this. Your testimony is tainted and God can't use you now.

When I am tempted to question God's acceptance of me in light of my bad behavior, I recall with gratitude the reassuring truth that God remembers our frame--Dust. 5
He gets who we are. He understands the forces at work against us and realizes we are prone to sin and quick to fall.
Still He loves us. Always loves us. He understands why we do what we do and yet lovingly pursues us in rescue.

Whether by volition or victimization, God's mercy and compassion are unconditional, unfailing and eternal. 6
His grace is offered without judgement or condemnation to ALL who have received Him and believe in His name.

"For the sake of His great name the LORD will not reject his people"  7
God's faithfulness is not based on what we have done, but on His GREAT name.
The same mind who knew in advance you would become one of His children also knew in advance you'd fall for a deceptive scheme of the evil one. Still, He says you were adopted with pleasure." 

"Forgive us, our father, for being attracted to the pleasures of sin, to what appears to be full of ecstasy and satisfaction but is, in fact, empty and stupid. Thank you for bringing conviction, for pointing out our rebellion. We need that reminder every day, so that we might invest ourselves in that which endures. Thank you for the relief that comes with being forgiven and the peace of mind that accompanies a clean heart. Finally, thank you for your mercies, new every morning, and Your grace, needed every day." 8
In Jesus name, Amen


Who AM I? 
 I AM who God says I am.

#WhoIAm
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, 'Forsaken,"...But you will be called "My delight is in her,"... For the LORD delights in you... "The holy people, the redeemed of the LORD;" And you will be called, "Sought out, a city not forsaken." 
Isaiah 62:3-4,12
NASB


1  Renee Swope, A Confident Heart, pg 105
2  Beth Moore, WHEN GODLY PEOPLE DO UNGODLY THINGS, pgs. 91, 44
3  Chuck Swindoll
4  Charles Spurgeon, Spurgeon on PRAYER & SPIRITUAL WARFARE, pgs. 493, 501
5  Psalm 103:14
6  Psalm 51:1-2
7  Beth Moore, WHEN GODLY PEOPLE DO UNGODLY THINGS.  pg.121,1 Samuel 12:22
8  Charles R. Swindoll, Insight for Living, Forgive Our Trespasses, Nov. 5, 2013





6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post.

Mandy said...

Beautiful words!

Romans 5:20-21 "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,

Anonymous said...

Thank you for bringing up the other side, what if we were the ones who created the pain for others. For your honesty.

Barb said...

I really enjoyed your post today! I have suffered consequences due to my bad choices. Self-induced. I am grateful for His new mercies every morning! :)

Blogger Loves The King said...

Beautiful and thank you for sharing another perspective. We talked about everything in our group except this, but still He loves each one of us even through bad choices. Thanks for bringing that to light in this wonderful blog. Debbie W. (OBS Facebook Group Leader/Blog Hop Team)

Anonymous said...

Awesome!!! This is really good!! I read your post last week as well and I can see and read that you have a gift for words...beautiful words.(but you must hear that alot)
I am thankful for this read and reminder of what a scheme is. Once I had some understanding I was able to see why God had encouraged me so strongly to let some things go that I knew took me from Him. I am thankful that I listened to Him and am getting stronger and stronger everyday!! Valerie R. #whoIam