The Loaves

         
                They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves...
                                                                       Mark 6:52


Loaves can keep us from seeing the Lord in the eye of our storms.

"Loaves!"   I have a lot of loaves in my life... A LOT.

For instance,  I will never understand the brutality of war, the rape of a child, the ravages of cancer or the torment of a darkened and depressed mind that slips silently into suicide.
Loaves.

Why must a sojourning heart wait a lifetime to dock at the shore of its soul mate--after it's too late?
Why didn't you spare my mothers' life?
Loaves.

How can such tragedy exist under an omnipotent and supposedly loving God when all it would take to prevent any of this would be the wave of His hand or a word from His mouth?  I don't get it.
Loaves.

"If there is no God, why is there so much good?  If there is a God, why is there so much evil?"*
Loaves.

As the story goes, the disciples had just finished feeding the five thousand and been sent ahead by Jesus to the other side of the lake. To Bethsaida.   Scripture tells us they departed in the evening, so I'm going to guess that would be sometime between 5:00 and 8:00 p.m.
When the disciples reached the middle of the lake they began to experience high winds that caused them to strain against the oars.  Where was Jesus in all this?  Praying!   From the safety of high ground and dry land!  Watching the whole ordeal! And apparently it wasn't until the  fourth  watch, which in Roman time was between 3:00 and 6:00 a.m., that Jesus finally decided to pay his respects to his friends.That's a minimum of 10 hours of struggle before Jesus appeared,unrecognized by them and walking on water.   He quieted the storm and  They were amazed,  for they had not understood about the loaves.   


Jesus asked  "why" as well,  in the garden,  as he faced imminent suffering and death.
Abba, Father, everything is possible for you...
Essentially Jesus was telling God, I KNOW you can solve this another way. I KNOW you can soothe my agony, alter my fate, change my situation.
God didn't.
More loaves.

I don't know the answers to the hard questions of life. 
I do know, however, that God ordains praise because of our enemies, to silence them.
Somehow praise is a weapon. Praise has a purpose. Praise in afflictions develops completeness.

God,  in his sovereignty,  is over all, through all and in all.  
God has put everything under his feet and that includes your affliction.
God has your storm completely under the auspices of his divine eye and will.

I may not be happy about my affliction, in fact I may be down right angry.  And I certainly won't feel like praying or praising him in the midst of it.  But I will.
There will most definitely be times I won't feel like even reading his word.  But I will.  Even if it's just mechanical lip service I will recite the word, for the word is life,  and I need to read life as much as I need to breathe air.
Gods goal for us is to be holy and complete, to persevere and praise,  therefore:                   

                             I will give thanks in all things,  for this is God's will for me.  


                  I praise you Lord, for you will be revealed and glorified  in my struggles.
                                                                 Exodus 14:4


"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad." **


We can't just settle for relief, we must seek redemption!  This is the ultimate goal of all man.



*Augustine
**Ruth Stull
 Mark 6:52   Mark 14:36    James 1:2-4   Ephesians 4:6   Psalm 8:6   1 Thessalonians  5:18

Who Are You, God?

For you have been my hope, 

O Sovereign Lord,

my confidence since my youth.

Psalm 71:5

***

As all conscientious parents are wont to do, both my father and mother stood firm in their resolve to constrain me in obeisance to their parental parameters.  And as all rebellious teenagers are born to resist, I was having none of it.  I stormed out of the house, determined not to return.  They can't tell me who to love. They don't understand. They're too strict. 

I'll show them, I threatened, as I left.

I had been walking for miles, rehashing the heated conversation of hours earlier.
By the time I had reached the rural roads on the outskirts of the county, the sun was sinking deeper into the earth, leaving contrails of faded violet and blue streaks across the distant horizon. Night was eminent. The need to find a place to sleep for the night began to increase in urgency, if not in subtle blips of panic. The  barn I was passing seemed a logical place to lodge. I stood and surveyed it for awhile-- fenced in, surrounded by nothing but fields as far as the eye could see and containing a loft that would keep me safe from anything wild below. Problem was, I couldn't muster the courage to hop the fence. I'll just walk a little further, and see if something better lays ahead.

The humiliation of having to return home, after an aborted and admittedly foolish decision to run away, was looming heavy over my heart. But eventually, that's exactly what I did. I seceded  in shame and turned towards home, the security and comfort of my own bed trumping my defiant attitude.
It wasn't long after my U-turn, however, that a car with three teenagers pulled up along side me.  No... I'm not lost.  No... I don't need a ride.  Your what?...born-again Christians? On a driving mission, looking for those who might need to hear the message of salvation?  Whats THAT?  There's a what?... revival at your church to explain?  Apparently they had prayed for God to lead them to someone who might need to hear the gospel message.  Guess I was the answer!
Buoyed by an opportunity to save face, I joined my new friends in the car.   
Here's an answer to the conundrum of avoiding home, I gloated.  And as a bonus, more time away, meant more worry for the folks!  I'm in!   Serves them right!
First on the evening agenda was a trip back to the home of the older boy. Family, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes were waiting for us and we took our seat around the table.
Much conversation took place over that meal.  I heard in detail what it meant to be a christian that night. It was somehow vaguely familiar to my soul.
God's timing is amazing,  I'm convinced those boys had a dinner hour commitment and I suspect they found me at the 11th hour. I believe we made it back to their home just under the wire.
The intersection of our lives took place at just the right time on the providential calendar of Almighty God.
After supper we headed off to church for the revival...First Assembly of God on New Florissant Road.  I heard the message of salvation for the first time in my life that night, and at the conclusion of the service, was asked if I wanted to make a commitment to become a christian.
Nodding in the affirmative, I was taken to the altar at the front of the church by my three new friends. Acknowledging the bible as the inerrant word of God, I was simply instructed to confess my sins, and acknowledge belief in Jesus' death as the cure for those sins. I did. I was baptized. I returned home a new creation.
Naively thinking my safe return and change in attitude would be enough to placate my parents and avoid grounding,  I quietly slipped into the house. Sauntering quietly into my bedroom, I prepared to round off the day with sleep. With lights off, I waited. Nothing.  NOTHING.  Got away with it!  whew!
But the peace was short lived as my bedroom light switch was forcefully flipped on, revealing my parents outlined menacingly in the door frame as a united front of anger.  Where have you BEEN?!  my father barked.
He expected an argument, not an answer.  I expected a lecture.
But apparently they were so disarmed by my response;  I went to church and have been SAVED,  all they could do was turn around and go to bed.  I still chuckle at the scene.

My three brothers and I were not brought up in church.  My mother, being the only child of a strict catholic family, was constrained to keep the denominational allegiance. My father had an equally solid tie to the protestant persuasion.  Compromise was not an option.  Solution?... No church at all!
In addition, it was drilled into us from an early age, that church attendance and affiliation, were taboo subjects around the grandparents. Breaching that mandate was subject to discipline.  Mum was the word, God was presumed believed in, but never discussed.

I was 12 at the time guilt and conviction convinced my parents to "do something" with the kids. Apparently baptism was the "something", and a trip to John Knox Presbyterian church was put on the calendar.
We were baptized all right, but not much else really came about from the adventure. Church attendance was sporadic, and short lived. Life soon resumed it's previous normalcy. Securing the souls of the children, through baptism, was checked off the spiritual parental duty list. Our parents consciences were now clear.... religion had been instated.
So they thought... But God had a different idea.

Around the age of 8 one night, I started to entertain the notion of God. I wondered, Who are you, God?  It seemed to me, even in my young mind, that He had to be more than church attendance, a denominational affiliation, or even religious tradition.
I began to feel a supernatural compulsion to read my children's bible. A whole whopping 33 pages of it. It took me maybe an hour, but I couldn't wait to share my accomplishment. Bursting into the family room where my parents were peacefully watching television,  I proudly announced my feat. Their response was not an overly enthusiastic one. That's nice Linda, now go back to bed, please.
I suppose in their minds, this was just another ploy of mine to avoid sleep. But I knew something happened that night. God had spoken, and even in my 8 year old heart, I knew it was so.

Around this same time, I also started to have a persistent and uncanny feeling that "someone" was always missing at the dinner table. It was so strong, that I recall numerous times when I would literally pause and count family members...1-2-3-4-5-6.  Yep, we're all here, no one missing. So why do I feel like someone isn't here and should be? Yet even after establishing the presence of all six of us, the vague feeling still didn't abate. It hung heavily in an unsettled place deep inside me.
I wonder now if that "someone" wasn't  Jesus.

Enter my three friends.  Like the visitors of Lot, they came to offer salvation to me with a message of deliverance from God. That night, I discovered what it meant to be a follower of Jesus...

                                The Salvation Message:

                I tell you the truth, you must be born again.

                                              John 3:7

Scriptural references of Salvation:

 Acknowledge the universal, sinful state of ALL man--
For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God--there is no one righteous, not one.
 Romans 3 :23, 3:10

Confess and repent of your sins--
 If you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9-10
                                                                         ***

 If any man be in Christ he is a new creation

2 Corinthians 5:17

There is no magic mathematical formula of words, or patterned prayer, that needs to be recited. Simply present your heart before the master and receive eternal life.
Sometimes even just a simple question can be a prayer, as was my case...Who are you, God?

"You may feel unworthy and unable to pray as you know you should. Accept this heartily and be content to come to God anyway and be blessed in your unworthiness, simply trusting Gods' grace. This is true humility.  Humility is the strength behind great faith. Don't let your littleness hinder your prayers for a moment." *

 May the love of your Father

 be like the lights in the windows of heaven

 that are always on for you.

* Andrew Murray

The Diminutive Dendrophiliac

photo by Beth York Bonham

 The packed earthy trail wound through the deeply wooded forest. Majestic mountain crags surrounded the woodland rims and rose like flames against the azure sky.
I was paralyzed of sorts, my feet wouldn't move. I just wanted to stand silently and breathe the scent of dirt and dew and pine into my soul. I love the woods, I love the trees and I feel so alive in the midst of all that variegated greenery and bark. Words of worship clamor for release when I am in the fields and forests of God and the cry of my soul resounds, "Where can I go and meet with my God?"  Psalm 42:2
As I stood surrounded by the greatness of creation, I knew, I just knew, he was there beside me. And in the knowing, my smallness engulfed me. Someone once said that if God were small enough to be understood, he wouldn't be big enough to be worshipped. It was under the canopy of that truth all my worries fled.

I think Adam and Eve must have  experienced this same elation as they walked in the garden in the cool of the day.   Gen 3:8
Jacob was said to have carried the scent of the earth and smell of the field on his skin.    Gen 27:7
David, a man of the earth and poet for the soul found refuge and inspiration in creation.   Psalms
Jesus frequently escaped to places of solitude and beckons us even now to follow--

                        Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
                                                                 Mark 6:31

  I wonder...what poetry and praise filled Jesus' soul as he ascended to the heights of the  mountains?  What kind of ethereal attachment to the beauty of the earth reminded him of his purpose and the sacrifice that would take him away from it all.
"Remember me!" I heard Him whisper. To the wind. To the trees. And to me.  I realized then that yes, he was saviour and God, but he was also a son, a brother, a friend, a child, a teenager with desires. He loved this earth, its smell, its beauty and its people. He had an earthly journey and a human story to tell as we all do.  God yet man.  Like all of us, he doesn't want to be forgotten. We need to preserve moments in our day to reflect and "remember him."

Sometimes I fear we get too caught up in the practice of religion and forget to practice the presence of God.  How easy it is to let the distractions of the day rob us of the silence and serenity found in creation, that vast wilderness of forests, fields and mountains God would use as a healing balm to our spirits if we would only go.
Kim Thomas states it well:  "Overly concerned with what has been, stressed and consumed by what is yet to be, we tend to forget that life is happening in the immediacy of this instant". (1)
Eugene Peterson hit the nail on the head;  "The fullness of creation is not realized in compulsive activity, but in the quiet contemplation of what is." (2)

There is a spiritual continuity and circuitous connection with creation that is restless inside of us, urging us back to our origins, back to a faraway time and place recognized by our soul;  God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there He put the man He had formed.   Gen 2:8

"In that day I will respond, declares the Lord-- I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; and the earth will respond to the grain, the new wine and oil, and they will respond to Jezreel.
I will plant her for myself in the land."
                                                                Hosea 2:21-23


God has made the earth and skies to be an observable, experiential and tangible testimony of His presence.  Come away with Him, find a place of solitude and rest. Find a place of worship and prayer. He is waiting for you.
True worshippers, "Will he always have to go to a church to find them, or might there be one here and there in an ordinary house, kneeling alone by a chair?" (3)
Might there be one here and there found walking a winding trail in communion with his creator?


This is my fathers world. Lose yourself in it. I dare you.   :)






(1) Kim Thomas, Living in the Sacred Now.
(2) Eugene Peterson, Praying with Moses
(3) Elisabeth Elliot

Tabernacles in Time

Old Testament : Have them make a sanctuary for me, and I will dwell among them.
(Ex. 25:8)
Old Testament-prophetic:  I will give you a new heart ...I will put my spirit in you!
(Ezekiel 36:26-26)    
New Testament:  Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?
(1 Cor. 6:19)




I have consecrated this house...and put my name there forever; my eyes and my heart will be there for all time.   (1 Kings 9:3)
                                                               Amen and Amen



In biblical terms, sanctuary and temple can basically carry the same connotation.  The terms reflect a sacred place of refuge, a place of habitation. As Christians, our bodies house God's spirit and as the dwelling place of God's spirit we can be considered a tabernacle, a spiritual sanctuary.


I want to be a sanctuary adorned in holiness for endless days.   (Ps. 93.5)
I want to be as passionate about the tabernacle/sanctuary as David. (2 Chron. 6:7)

I want to be as deliberate with details as Moses and Solomon. (Ex. 25:8,  1Kings 6,7,8)



Apparently there are only a few chapters in scriptures referring to the creation of all the universe.  Yet  the book of Hebrews, combined with the first five books of the bible (the pentateuch) alone,  contain over 50 chapters about the tabernacle. This speaks volumes  of the importance God places on His desire to dwell with His people.  In fact, the word for "dwelt" in John 1:14 is skenoo  and is translated in the greek as "tabernacled".  
                            The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

                                            Immanuel:   God with us.  God in us.
                                                                   (Matt 1:23)

                                                 Adorn your house with holiness:

***Pray God would grant you new life to rebuild the house of your God and repair its ruins. (Ezra 9:9)  The waves of sin will lap at the shore of our selfishness. We will desire things we shouldn't. Sometimes we may even feel as if we have "ruined" our holy place with improper speech and desires, unholy attitudes and actions, foolishness and folly.  But it is never too late--Repent! Rebuild!

   

*** Devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God. Begin to build the sanctuary of the LORD God... bring the sacred articles into the temple.  (1 Chron. 22:19)
                                               I envision the "sacred articles" as;
                                  confession  penitence  adoration  obedience  prayer
                             Experiencing the "presence, vision and enjoyment of God"   (1)

       

***If your sanctuary is desolate, if Gods spirit does not dwell in you as a new creation by spiritual rebirth or as a christian you are in a  spiritually dry place,  ask the lord to look with favor on your desolate sanitary, to listen and to hear your prayer, to forgive and fill you with His presence. Then you will be a people called by His name. (Dan 9:17-19)


***I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well!!  We were created to be in fellowship with the Lord;  body, heart, spirit and soul. (Ps 139:14)
The Lord has prepared a place for His spirit in your beautifully crafted human tent.  Invite Him in!
Desire to adorn your house with holiness.

"May your eyes be open toward this temple night and day, 

this place of which you said, 

My Name shall be there..."

1 kings 8:29

                                                                                                       

--  Romans 10-9-10  If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

-- Eph 3:8 For it is by faith you have been saved through faith- and that not of yourselves, it is THE GIFT of God- lest any should boast.


(1) C.S. Lewis

More Moments with Moses...

Random Revelations from Dabar--

Dabar;  Hebrew--desert. sometimes wilderness.



*Darkness that can be felt will spread over Egypt.
The sun rises, peeking over the distant horizon, and even the smallest sliver of light brings illumination to  half the globe.  A candle, a flashlight, a nightlight, a campfire. All these are small sources of light that have the potential to brighten hallways, rooms, fields and forests for not only feet but miles.
Light disperses darkness.
When the Lord cast a plague of complete and utter darkness on the Egyptians, it was a palpable darkness so deep that it kept them confined indoors.  (Ex. 10:21-23)
I have been in darkness like that when exploring underground caves. That kind of blackness is thick and disconcerting.   Yet even in such blackness a small beam of light can project some radiance.
But it isn't the darkness that draws my curiosity. It's the fact that  the light in the midst of the Israelites  didn't illuminate the community of Egyptians even though both dwelt in close proximity to the other.
(Ex. 10:21-23)
In a sense, this seems to be the spiritual climate of today.  Jesus illuminates the believers soul with truth,  yet the unbelieving world remains shrouded in darkness.  Jesus, the true light  has come into the world, yet the world, through unbelief and sedition, has chosen not to see.  (John 1:9-10)

*A lot of stuff went down on that Mountain of Sinai.
 --- I am intrigued about Mount Sinai  being the place of God's revelation to Moses, the place where Moses' faith story and journey begins, and the specific destination Moses sought the minute his sandals hit the desert sands.
In the third month after the Israelites left Egypt... they came to the desert of Sinai... and camped there in front of the mountain.  (Ex. 19:1-2)
If we were to emulate the example of Moses in witnessing to others,  shouldn't it be as simple as this-- taking people to our Sinai story?  That place where we first realized who God was?
Every christian has a testimony, a personal story!  Are you prepared to give an account of that story?
Always be prepared to give a reason to everyone for the hope in you. (1 Peter 3:15)
 ---Moses saw and heard  some amazing things;
1.)  God's voice.  The people also heard!   (Ex.19:9)
2.)  Angels!  In order to craft the cherubim for the ark, Moses would of had to have seen them. (Ex.25:18).
3.)  He was shown the pattern for the lamp stand. Can you even fathom laying eyes on an actual hard copy of a divine architectural pattern? (Ex.25:40)
4.)  He was shown the plan for the tabernacle.  (Ex.26:30)

*I brought your divisions out of Egypt.
God referred to the  Israelites as His divisions. (Ex. 7:4, 12:17)
The King James Version uses the word armies.
I am a christian, the concept of also being a "division' challenges me.
These titles infer the general concept of service.  Primarily, Gods plan is to rescue us from the slavery of sin and oppression and give us the gift of eternal life.  However, following our salvation, the call to take that gospel message to the rest of the world is issued.  (Acts 1:8)
Being a christian isn't passive, it is active and purposeful.

*The Peoples Representative
Moses was instructed by his father-in-law to be the peoples representative. (Ex. 18:19)
He had the responsibility of teaching them God's word, of showing them how to live and the duties they were to observe.  As Christian's, we have that same calling.
The question then, is;
Am I living a life of holy obedience, purity and service as an example? (Titus 2:12)
Am I being very careful how I live, so that when others watch, they are drawn to God?  (Eph 5:15)
Do I claim to know God, but by my actions deny Him?  (Titus 1:16)
Am I setting an example in speech?  (1Timothy 4:12)

*Confusion of the Egyptian Army
The Lord threw the Egyptian army into confusion.  (Ex.14:24).  What a thought for us to consider when we are being pursued by an enemy, whether it be man or Satan!
David prayed along those lines;  "oh Lord, turn Ahithophel's counsel into foolishness."
(2 Samuel 15:31).
Next time you find yourself in a trial or hardship, pray as David did, ask God to frustrate or confuse the counsel of your enemy!  Watch The Lord throw your enemy into confusion . Experience Him come and stand between you and your enemy as a wall of protection!!  (Ex.14:19,24)

*Stand Firm
Moses answered the people and told them to --stand firm.  (Ex. 14:13)
God's response;  why are you crying out to me?  Move on!.  (Ex. 14:15)
Aside from the humor in the disparity here, is the conviction that  I better be sure I am giving the right information before sharing a word from God.!!!!

*Plundered profit
The Israelites plundered the Egyptians in the course of their exodus out of Egypt. (Ex. 12:36).
They found themselves the beneficiary of silver, gold, precious stones and other material gain liberally thrown at their feet!
However,  they weren't in the desert very long before part of the purpose of the plunder was revealed. God requested a free will  offering from the people be brought to Moses for the construction of a sanctuary. A place where God could dwell and live in the midst of them.  (Ex 25:1)
God reminds us that anything we possess comes from Him and is ultimately meant to be used for His glory.  (Romans 11:36)
Hosea 2:8, though not directly referring to the story at hand,  tells us that it was GOD that gave Israel the grain, new wine and oil...the silver and gold.
I am not convinced all the materials God instructed the Israelites to use in the construction of the sanctuary wasn't  indigenous to the desert.  It's highly probable most of the supplies were from the plunder taken in Egypt.

*God let it happen
Life is hard. People get sick. People suffer. People die. Humanity is inhumane.
Our sinful nature still opposes our spirit. And our arch enemy Satan, the prince of the power of the air  presently reigns. (Eph. 2:2)
And.... God lets it happen.  (Ex 21:13).
It's the proverbial scenario;  "If God is so good, why is there so much bad?"
For some reason,  God lets the tares and the wheat,  good and evil, survive together.  (Matt 13:30)
Habakkuk, the prophet to Judah, addressed this very subject indicating that  the revelation awaits an appointed time.   (Hab 2:3)  This would indicate that the answer to the question is, "we don't know!"
But we will, someday.
The corollary here is actually one of reassurance, however, because nothing takes God by surprise!
He lets it happen, He saw it coming, it has a purpose.
He is not willing that any should perish.  (2 Peter 3:9)
He has a plan for man.  (Jeremiah 29:11)
When tragedy or hardship hits,  I take comfort in knowing that  God has gone before me to lead the way.  (Deut 1:30)  God let that hardship happen and He has a divine destination in mind for me by means of it.
He is sovereign, my life and its events are not random, they are ordained and allowed. They have a purpose.

 I carried you on eagles wings and brought you to myself as my treasured possession
  Exodus 19:4-5

The Gift of Grace

There seems to be a common thread running through my soul these days, one I can't deny or dismiss.  It keeps coming back. It keeps pursuing me. In my personal study, in literature I am reading, in sermons I attend, even in conversations with friends it is there. It is relentless. It is stalking. It is ageless. It is:

GRACE

Grace-  Websters;   a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior. mercy. clemency. pardon.

Grace-  Hebrew;   (chesed- noun)  chesed must have an action occur to exist,  i.e.  redemption from  something such as an enemy or sin.

That said, inherent in the object of grace, is the obligate nemesis or "action" of sin! 

No subject on grace would be complete without including the matter of sin, and as ironic as it may seem, that can actually be a good thing, because;

"where sin increased, grace increased all the more...."  Romans 5:2

Unfortunately, the harder I tried to stop sinning, the more of a foothold my sin seemed to have on me. It got to the point where I would just roll out of bed and onto my knees in the morning and instead of praying for strength to overcome and be victorious, I seceded in hopelessness and defeat;

"This thing is too big for me, God!"  Exactly!  

"This thing is too strong for me, God!"  Exactly!   

"My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak, God!"  Exactly!

My moaning soul would wail;  "Here it is Lord, I'm just going to give it to you straight up;  "its" going to happen again today.  Bank on it.  I will repeat and replay this compulsive sin of mine today, so please just forgive me now, ok?

Oh the infamous, notorious hamster wheel of humanity;
Sin...confess...repent...repeat

Yep, that's me alright.  But if we are honest, isn't it all of us?
Don't get me wrong. Confession is good. Confession is commanded. Confession is necessary. It just isn't meant to be a repetitious religious prayer recited over and over again for the same sin.
Contrary to popular opinion, more right behavior + less bad behavior does not = righteousness!

Religion says,  "If all we bring to God is our moral striving, we're back at the same lie that put us in need of salvation. We're stuck with our independent talents, longing, and resolve to make it happen.
We want God to make our life work and our behavior seems like the price tag." *

Grace says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not of yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast."  Ephesians 2:8-9

The work of forgiveness is finished and eternal if you have accepted  The Truth and covenanted with God to live it!  Any actions on your part hereafter will not add to the equation of salvation through grace.
The same applies for personal sin once confessed.
"If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.." 1 John 1:9
He will remove our sins from us as far as the east is from the west!  Psalm 103:12

I have a very good friend who would tell me that it helps him to write his sins on a chalkboard, list them one by one, confess them and then erase them.  In God's eyes they are erased and forgotten, now move forward in grace and forget it,  he would advise.

My pastor recently restated the same truth.  We are human, we sin, we sin again, and again, why are you so surprised?  The christian way of life is a deliberate veering to the right once you have confessed.

Yes, we are sinners saved by grace. But beyond that lies the truth that we are also saints who sin.

It is who we are. It is what we do. It is how we have been wired since the bust of Eden... for now.
Paul could confirm that fact to you from a personal perspective;  "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15
I'm still trying to grasp the grace concept thing, and am guessing I will still be trying to figure it out until the day the lord calls me home.  In the mean time I don't want to miss a minute of grace. I don't want to waste time beating myself up for a sin already confessed, forgiven and forgotten. I want to live out who God says I am  --  forgiven...by grace...through mercy.

       Oh what glory and what grace,

       What blessed surrender sweet,

       that I, my Lord

       might find forgiveness

       at your feet!

       (L. Paddock)

*John lynch,Bruce McNicol, Bill Thrall    "The Cure"

Let my people go!

...Caught in captivity (Egypt)


We all have our own Egypt-- the list is legion I'm sure.
If you are currently in a place of bondage to a particular sin, stronghold or station, you are very aware of how miserable your place of captivity is.  You don't need anyone to tell you. Whether it is an illness you didn't ask for or a tidal wave of temptation that has swallowed you whole, probably doesn't matter.  The fact of the matter is that it sucks the life out of you.  It dominates your day and rules your nights.  It steals your joy and sears your soul. Often we are helpless to deliver ourselves. We can become too beaten down to even hope or try anymore.  But there is hope!
Whatever our lot in life,  there IS good news!  For God says to our task master, our oppressor ;   "Let my people go!"
In the course of convincing Pharaoh to let His people go, God warned of the many plagues that would occur in order to effect the exodus. The road to rescue and recovery is often arduous, the adversity of an adversary can be be as relentless in its pursuit of us as pharaoh was with the the Israelites.
Adversity.
Adversity propagates Gods purpose so that His power is seen and His name proclaimed.
Adversity brings us to our knees so we can see God, grasp grace and walk in faith.
Adversity can often lead us on a pilgrimage through an arid land.
But, there is hope in the journey. There is help in the waiting.
The wellspring of deliverance awaits.


...Stuck in Sinai (round and round we go)


Desert drudgery.  Are you tired of circling around the same mountain of adversity?
Essentially that's what the children of Israel did. They circled Mt. Horeb over and over again. They walked the scorching sands of Sinai in bitter protest and faithless purpose.  They lost sight of the goal...to hear the voice of God and learn the lesson of leadership through the wilderness experience.   They walked in circles around the problem and missed the point... hearing God speak through the suffering and learning to trust in the crisis.
But Moses heard, he heard God speak from a burning bush.  "When the lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush...I have indeed seen the misery of my people, I have heard their cry, I am concerned about their suffering."
Did you catch that?  The lord saw Moses  HAD GONE  to look at the bush. God was at a distance watching Moses walk up to the bush. Then, God called to him from WITHIN the bush.  God MOVED!  How awesome is that?  God sees our plight, prepares our deliverance and then moves to where we are to bring relief and revelation.
Is a darkness of despair your mountain right now?  While it is true we are to walk in the light, "There comes a time, as you draw close to God, that you are consumed with darkness.  This is true when you are abiding in the shadow. The closer you get to God, the less you understand Him.  In the darkness of His presence, under the shadow of the Almighty, we learn to believe." (1)
A.W. Tozer put it another way; That God can be known by the soul in tender personal experience while remaining infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason constitutes a paradox best described as, Darkness to the intellect but sunshine to the heart." (2)
It's been said that faith looks at God, unbelief looks at the obstacles... so, look for the burning bush, that THING God is using to get your attention, and experience Him come to you in that place.
"The tragedy of our wilderness experience is not that we have to go through grief and suffering, but that we often miss the blessings from burning bushes--the things through which God speaks."
"This is the lesson of the desert. When your branches are barren, when all your buds have dried up, when your leaves droop in discouragement--remember your roots. Remember that just beneath the sand there are underground reservoirs where the water is pure...and know that in your season, you shall bear fruit again." (3)




...Possessing the promise land


The promise land. Heaven!
Heaven is so much more than "streets of gold and gates of pearl."
Job commented that, "The earth takes shape like clay under a seal."
Molded by its impression, I believe earth is the mirror image of heaven.  I'm convinced God took the trees and the meadows, the grass and the leaves, the stones and the streams, the rolling hills of heaven and gave us a tangible taste of our future home.
"The land you are crossing (into) is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven.  It is a land the Lord your God cares for;  the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end."

In my mind, I see The Lord coming to greet me barefoot, on the banks of the Jordan and asking;  "So, want to go for a walk with me?"

Who among the gods is like you, O Lord?

Who is like you-

majestic in holiness,

awesome in glory,

working wonders?

In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.

In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

You will bring them in and plant them

on the mountain of your inheritance-

"Then there will be... no going into captivity, no cry of distress in the streets."

Then may you say with Joseph,  "God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."



(1)  Corrie ten Boom
(2)  A.W. Tozier,  The knowledge of the Holy
(3)  Jamie buckingham,  A Way Through the Wilderness.

Exodus 9:13     Exodus 3:7,  3:4     Job 38:14   Deuteronomy 11:11-12
Exodus 15:11,13,17  Psalm 144:14  Genesis 41:52